About Age...

Yesterday was tough... 

Yesterday my middle child went in for a tonsillectomy and you would think that it was something really serious by the way I was acting. My intensity and emotional self can be at times detrimental to the cause. I say at times because there has been times when my intensity have saved us from certain situations. Now here I am... Quickly justifying my manic ways to you just like I justify them to the husband since I was taught to be polite. 

I thought with age my emotions would settle and the intensity would turn its volume way down. I thought peaceful wisdom would come through, one that was innate and within.  I thought that after birthing three kids dealing with tough situations would be a thing of the past. I thought that I, cool and collected, would take on each task in a state of calmness. That I would deal with tough times in a state of nirvana. 

But... 

Age has brought more awareness to those that wish to judge and not accept. Age has given me less tolerance to self imposed ignorance. Age has provided me with confidence and the gift of honesty. The fact that many don't know what to do when faced with truth is no longer my problem or issue.  Age has also taught me to be loyal and love so deeply. 

Am I blissfully challenged by such cynicism I asked myself.  

Truth is... age has provided me the freedom to speak up and say what I want and need without denying self love. Age has brought me the ability to remove toxic people and those with an arrested development to not influence the outcome of my days. While I am open to show how intense and emotional I can be, I hope others come as they are and be accepting of me. If not? I love myself enough to provide you with my gift of honesty. 

Will be back soon with more in the meantime...

FAQ.

1. What are you listening to this summer? 

Obsessed with the music of Haim. 
Song now playing with this post is Haim.

Sounds like summer and makes this girl happy.
Also The Helio Sequence.

2. Can we see the top of the chair and the pictures of Baby M pasted?

3. Favorite Summer Cocktail?

Via

The Italian Citrus Margarita
2 parts Patron Tequila or you can use Sauza Gold Tequila
1 part Triple Sec
1 part DiSaronno Amaretto
1 part Lime Juice
Ice
Salted rim
Lime and orange wedges for garnish

Continue enjoying the summer we are having sundaes for dinner (pecans and bananas are healthy) in honor of the tonsillectomy. 

The Summer of Love...

Summer of 1999. That was supposed to be my summer. First time alone for two months without a care in the world. It had been years since I was alone for so long. I became a mom at a young age. The kid begged to go away with his dad for 2 months that summer... I obliged.  Quickly the summer became everything. The space and time where I could be whatever I wanted to be.

But it became my summer of love...

 We met and it was never meant to happen. That night I had a date with another boy.  A boy that held much promise since he was kind and good looking. As I was to walk out the door to meet the "date" he (now husband) placed a toe ring on my bare feet right after we met. Not used to wearing a toe ring all I could do during my "date" was stare at my feet and think about the boy I had just left behind. The ring felt as if it held some type of magnetic force and my toes kept tingling. Right there on my second toe I had been chained.

Needless to say my "date" with the Latin boy lasted 60 minutes they were timed by my watch and a few beats from Fatboy Slim. I ran back almost breathless to find him where I had just left him. Right there I proclaimed with a  big smile I am back. That was fast- he replied. Still catching my breath all I could do was smile. A week after that fateful meeting we became a family. We ignored the whispers, the talks and fourteen years later here we are...

On May 9th my husband and I celebrated our 14th anniversary. He walked me to a Savannah bridge where the Parisian custom of locking a lock and throwing away the key lives. We couldn't make it to Paris but somewhere in time in another dimension we did. In that moment Savannah became foreign to me. No longer chained we are now locked.

Mother's Day.

I have three kids but the one in the middle stole my heart on Mother's Day. Maybe because of her age . Maybe because she loves me. She gave me the best Mother's Day a kid could have given. Breakfast in bed. hugs and kisses and a stage performance.

On Instagram LtoR 1.The Show Oklahoma! 2. Breakfast 3. Oklahoma! 4.Baby M. and Me. 5. Sunflower 6.Thespian.

Hoping your weekend was sweet... Happy new week friends.

The South...

The days are flying by and summer is upon us in Savannah, GA. The days are longer and with all the sunlight more opportunities to photograph my surroundings. On a daily basis I fall in love with photography. Every time I get that one image that feels as if I took the brush to a canvas. Capturing that fleeting moment gives me such satisfaction. A moment that otherwise would be lost in time. Because I am addicted to my surroundings and all of the beauty that I see.




*Savannah Sidewalk Art festival is one of my favorite art festivals. Artists creates exquisite pieces of art which today are gone. Chalk art taken to another level.  Like Buddhists monks they create these beautiful pieces that are just for a moment in time.


Colors so bright and intense and this is the moment that I realize I am way too fast and impatient to be a painter. It is now that I want to capture all of it. I want it to be with ease and fluidity and  my hands could never move fast enough.





Just as my brain begins to wrap itself around all the colors and surroundings just as I am beginning to feel the breeze, the sun and all of this art... history shows up and slaps me on the face. A war that saw the end of slavery and the downfall of a southern planter aristocracy.







There wasn't a family in the South that did not lose a son or brother or father.







It was the birth of a new freedom...
The most necessary, horrible and heroic conflict this nation has ever witnessed.






I felt as if I was falling down the rabbit hole with so much pain and sadness yet glad to be here in the year 2013. I return to meet with my tribe and there she was smiling so big. Right there in the middle of the Historic District in Downtown Savannah...






The place where once her father and I would not have been possible to be.


Happy Monday peeps.

The Sweet Life...

I am struggling with words tonight but it is a new week and somehow I have to document. We are breathlessly drunk by each other at the moment and enjoying everything the holiday and Savannah, GA has to offer but something about this time of the year that is quite liberating.

I try to tie all loose ends, make mends and resolve any and all issues before the new year begins and if such tasks are not completed I move on. I move on because there is only so much we can try to fix because I have learned to pick my battles. January 1st should be a blank piece of paper one eager to be filled with sweet things.

Savannah's winter is mild but even with a mild winter I try to enjoy the outdoors early before the winter really hits us.

Savannah, GA Festival of Lights

The dead of winter is the time to retreat perfect for staying in writing poetry about Spring and Summer. Listening to music and revisiting the masters of literature.

Smores

Because in the dead of winter light seems to escape me as quickly as I notice it. Taking amazing pictures is trickier and time consuming.





At this moment the girl with thousands of words is struggling to fill this empty page. I wish I could fill them up with kisses from my new lipstick shade and all the colors of the rainbow. But if you stick around I might come back with stories, drawings, songs even poetry.

The closest we get to snow.

Because I am a wild child, a rebel, a believer of the moon, black cats all while wearing glitter and stars in my eyes.

The monkey that jumped on my husband at the festival ;)

 



Happy Monday peeps...

Waltz With The Wind...

Lately I have had that feeling of being stuck inside a pressure cooker. I can hear the whistling sound reaching that point where I feel like screaming. So this morning I left to work and work took me to a garden and I thought I am early I will meditate. I will close my eyes and ask for some internal peace and resolution to situations that are inhabiting this head of mine but quickly all the noise and chatter took over frustrating me much more. My eyes quickly filled with tears adding to the frustration and feeling  of hopelessness. I took a deep breath and with cloudy eyes I saw this...





And since I look for signs everywhere to guide me I took it in. It was a sermon delivered. My sermon. And like a prophecy the trees played the waltz of the wind. It was right there I knew what needed to be done. It was right there I understood.

 


So I went about with my day coming home to a girl that was calling her mama on her princess phone.


 


All I could do after I saw her was ask her to dance. So there in a backyard in the southeast coast stood one little girl and (an almost well done in a pressure cooker) Mama and they danced a waltz with the wind.



Happy Midweek Peeps...

 

Please stay sweet.

About Tame Foxes...

I write to you from a window where I sit staring at the world out there. The rain makes me go inward and I am she who sleeps with the foxes. In her cave safe and protected watching the clouds as the storm passes us by.



The thing is that I can now sit still and watch it all go by when once it was impossible. A heart that was so empty where every heartbeat would echo. I can finally say that all sounds and my heart sit still.





Yes, today I catch up with work, my studies, editing and creating new techniques and ideas because like the fox I needed taming. I believe to tame is to establish ties and to establish those ties one must be very patient.





My family has tame me. I know the sounds of each one of their steps. So much in nature reminds me of each one of them. Their voices call me like a wild yip out of my borough. I am helpless and tamed.





It is the wasted time that makes me realize how important they are.
Now I've broken down and spilled it all on these pages...




Now marks the time for this vulnerable fox to go back to sleep...




Guest Post
You can read a guest blog post written by me at What The Flicka? Check it out here.



Later peeps and please stay sweet...

Two girls and a mouse...

In less than 48 hours I was able to reconnect and get to know her all over again.  I opened up like a tangerine and she held my hand for hours and I had not held her hand in such way since she was two. We ran, laughed and screamed and I found salvation. She was able to move mountains with her smile and spirit. My girl turns 12. She who turns it all to light.





There is just no one like her... No one. And I am realizing its the little things the times in between. When we both sing out of key... When we dance in the streets...When we can just laugh together sitting in one spot without a care in the world.  I take all those moments and stack them up... Up high like a block tower.

We are huge Ms.Piggy fans...

bottom right 1 of only 2 pictures of the 2 of us together. This one with Pocahontas. Find the next one...

We shed a few tears at the end of the night when fireworks lit the skies and all I could see were the colors of the rainbow reflected in her eyes...I wished her a Happy Birthday and she said it felt like they were all for her to which of course I said they were. Happy Birthday my love and please forever and ever stay sweet!

Downtown Disney.

"If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember this whole thing was started with a dream and a mouse". ~ Walt Disney



Later Peeps...

Falling...

Let me begin by telling you that she smells like frosting and cake. These last two years are going by so fast it scares me. She is changing and verbalizing her needs. Our getaway seemed that it helped skyrocketing the process. She has found some independence and it is beautiful to watch.



Speaking of independence...
Ms.M was also filled with it. She for the first time used every Spanish word she had and dare to order food in Spanish. Proud like a peacock and filled with confidence...



Because sometimes we just need a pat on the back. A little something to remind us we are awesome and capable of doing anything if we focus. Raising awareness to my bi cultural girls is a must.



I am still reeling in from the trip. I honestly had not been inspired, touched and felt such great connections in a long time. I am still riding the Miami South Beach high.



While I was there I tripped and fell twice. Once at the Hard Rock Cafe and another at a movie screening. I fell so hard on my knees but yet I was praying to no one. I still laugh at the fact that these women continue their friendships with me...
No regard to the obvious fact that I will embarrass the shit out of them at any given time.



Their reaction to the ruined white pants at the movie screening?
Roll them up we are in Miami.
So I rocked the capris for the rest of the night.
Because that is what life is all about... Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.



Looking forward to the weekend with local friends. Speaking of local friends Free Candy has their first album release on Friday night and this girl is meeting her peeps for what else?
Cuban food and some Punk rock music...



Have a great weekend peeps...





Stay Sweet!