Graduation Day...

* I struggled with the idea of posting this. As usual I second guess myself wondering if I am sharing too much and leaving myself naked. Thanks Ezzy for saying the following... You have your followers because of your authenticity and talent. Don't compromise.  

I drive weekly to this small and hidden waterhole near my house. All summer Baby M has reluctantly gone to the beach not taken any steps into the water she sits by the shore and plays in the sand. She has been cautious even by the pool area. She is cautious in just about everything. I have settled and grown comfortable to watch her play in the sand for hours. Something about a kid being safe gives you such peace like when they are newborns and you know they are not going to go anywhere and peacefully they just sleep like angels. All that changes when a child gathers independence, a will and strength. All that changes when a child begins the process of decision making. 

 I am sure she has an internal clock that is marking the summer's end. I am sure she can tell the sun is beginning to set a bit earlier and that the sun rays are leaning in a different direction. Punxsutawney Phil did not have any lessons but yet we have paid attention to the predictions since 1887. I am certain at the age of three she knew. Summer is almost over...

I did not bring her bathing suit it was not the plan to swim but she is the perfect country girl and she adapted and did not resist the powers of a salt water marsh lined with sea grass.  Her older sister took cue and follow suit. Because that is what older sisters do...

My Graduation...

Truth is I have had 3 emotional breakdowns since Monday including one late Sunday night as I was watching The Life of Pi.

Like Richard Parker my son has left the house. Not that I am not thrilled with his departure at the age of 21. What broke me in half was the way he so unceremoniously left me. Not even a head turn to wish me farewell...

He was the only child I planned. He was planned since I had been married for two years and my then husband a military man, a young military man, was embarking on a tour to Desert Storm going off to war and I could not bear that I, his wife, had not given him a  child regardless if I was only 18. Like the most enthusiastic martyr I forsake any plans for a career or financial stability in the future. I forsaken my independence and the possibility of a nest egg in the name of love.

It was tough for my Richard Parker and I. I was so young and completely stupid and when he was three years of age I became a single mother. I can do this. I am strong enough. I have survived before.

Bounce or Fly? Crawl.

My marriage was not a walk in the park and neither was the second husband I also left behind in that god forsaken town.  A church every ten steps from your front door. An incomplete college education, a middle school level in the English language and a knack for photography was not going to cut it in the tiny southern town of Hinesville, GA. Back then there were three stop lights, one titty bar and one Wal-Mart that was all that brought life to the town. My kid and I were living in our private version of southern town hell. One tiny brown kid. One angry brown girl. One Southern town. Two husbands later I crawled and made my way to Savannah, GA.

With my knees skinned and bloody I had already caused enough damage. I had bounced from one end of the world to another. By the time I found an anchor and by the time my roots grew... His trunk was leaning the other way. Looking for a different source of sunlight. It breaks my heart to even think that I might be the reason why the kid is so quick to leave me without a proper goodbye. It breaks my heart to know he is not attached to me and that was a lesson I wrote for him early on. I also have the feeling that his inability to be attached to me might be a part of his DNA... Inheritance from his Father. Otherwise I would have never had a need of crawling and no trunks would have been bend looking for sunlight. For whatever reason... He is now gone without a proper goodbye.

So I manically dance between being the parent of a toddler, a teen and a adult and graduate once again to another level into a more difficult road in motherhood. One I am trying to understand. To follow the words I am trying absorb...

On Children

by Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.

An Ode to My Sisters... You

I am in search for a bit of silence before the 4th of July. We, woman and mothers are guilty of always stretching ourselves thin. Always giving in because we have so many reasons and ways to nourish, feed and even heal those that are around us. We, woman specially mothers... We know what we sign up for.  The endless work hours that have no scheduled time off or paid holidays or anyone that gives us that pat on the back and says "hey, great job"... No one tells us you know those towels smell amazing and we can't believe how soft they are and dinner was perfect and the way you arrange those flowers on that vase are just exquisite.

My Crepe Myrtles Look Like The 4th Of July...

No... we don't get such praises... We just do... We do because we love. In perfect unselfish love we walk like soldiers. Full of hope and dreams and we are paid with kisses and hugs from the little ones maybe a smile from the older ones and hopefully a kiss from our partners. Not trying to make our work martyrdom because we know the pay off is greater than anything we can imagine. Oh if it wasn't for us that wish to civilize instead of colonize...What would have been of our planet?

Like the bee... We do... Unconsciously the bee just does... yet full of dedication and determination...

Well, there you  have it I just had my moment of "silence" for today and I did it for you and me... To let you know that I too recognize the struggles. That I hear you... I hear you when you are amidst a kitchen sink full of dishes and the phone is ringing and the baby is eating dog food and you like a brave soldier and a circus performer juggle it all... for them...

Looking for the sweet nectar...

Sisters... I hear you... They often forget how we too have dreams, hopes and visions... And today we walk this sweet life together because after all we manage... We manage to take time for "silence" to appreciate and like historians you are keeping the story of your life... their lives alive... Because you heal when sick and listen when needed... Because you more times than not without any judgements love.

In the south we get spectacular thunderstorms in the summer time... In Savannah this is how I bathe the kids... Just kidding I give them soap.

Savannah Rain brings everyone out because is now cool, windy and summer goodness surrounds us...

I took my time to tell you and myself you are loved because all you do is... love.

Heart Of Haiti

Today I want to talk about some people I have never met but yet feel connected to. Today I want you think of your surroundings and get to know the heart of Haiti. The Haitians are beautiful, creative and resilient people and this is the reason I who never post any sponsored post or ads is proud to introduce to you the Heart of Haiti.


Heart of Haiti is an extension of the Macy's 'Shop for A Better World' initiative born out of a partnership with Fair Winds Trading and Brand Aid Haiti.  Founded on the principle of "Trade not Aid", 'The Shop for A Better World' creative team sources artists from all over Haiti to develop and sell their works in over 25 Macy's storefront locations across the U.S. and on macys.com. The proceeds earned from the sale of their art dramatically improve the lives of the artists and their families giving them the ability to afford better nutrition, education and healthcare.  And the craftsmanship and technique behind these works of art, ranging from papier mache vases to hand cut metal frames & wall hangings, is truly remarkable.  The collection is made entirely from recycled and sustainable items such as old cement bags, cardboard, oil drums & local gommier wood.







This past February, a group of bloggers had the rare opportunity to travel to Haiti with Fair Winds Trading (led by founder Willa Shalit) and  who had taken on the Heart of Haiti project as a labor of love. They met many of the artisans behind the HOH collection including Serge Jolimeau, a world-renowned metal artist, who also presides over the guild organization (ADAAC) that links and guides the many local artisan ateliers.  Over the years, Serge has trained hundreds of young apprentices
giving them the gift of art and the ability to earn a living wage.  They watched as the young men pounded, cut and shaped ornate works of art for the home out of what was once nothing but a pile of raw scrap metal.  This was a theme they saw repeated over and over again in Haiti - the practice of taking a pile of nothing and turning it into something beautiful.  














A random comment will be chosen to win a small item from the Heart of Haiti collection.
What comes to mind when you think of Haiti and its people?



One year later: Rebuilding & Renewing

The Tribe…

While planning the M&M’s birthdays and the summer season celebrations the thought kept running though my head…

We all need a community to be a part of…
A city … a village… a space where you feel people are friendly and you are welcomed… a place where it always feels like you belong. The older I get the more I understand the need for community and thanksgiving and without them I feel we are nobody…
We are all connected by many invisible threads…
We crave alone time to sort out our thoughts and ideas… to calm, soothe ourselves and center but when we are at ease…  we are aware… it is time to go back.
We always go back…
Because we need each other.
To grow…to share… to develop…to civilize…

 
her new I am very mad face …

I, once thought that race and nationality defined tribes and communities…
Now, I am certain that this is not true and it is just my foolish perception.
No longer a silent observer I find common bonds and experiences…
I weave them together as I learn from others…
I share in search of community and communion with others. 

I have taken 2011 with a vengeance and I am building bridges instead of walls… I am reaching and grabbing for new connections and experiences… like a warrior with much purpose and my purpose is to connect… to be a part of the tribe… the tribe that was there all along always present but it needed my reflection and attention.

I now offer a respectful regard to the tribe it is a way of loving it, caring for it and nurturing it. Creating new ways to celebrate and bring myself and my family closer to others… Hoping these experiences teaches them to connect and love humanity with acceptance even when flawed. I now understand that nothing needs to be in order because it already is…the universe is in order and I am willing to harmonize with it. Such concept is an act of trust. No longer polarized with no particular feelings boxing me in…



I join the many tribes I encounter as I walk the sweet life...

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” Jane Howard  

Have a great weekend peeps and stay sweet…
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Japan...West Coast...Weekend

It's Friday and although I wish to imbibe and gulp my weekend I keep thinking of the people in Japan and those in the path of the Pacific ocean. When you grow up on an island  you learn to respect mother nature... Tsunamis, hurricanes, earthquakes and there is no where to run. You learn to appreciate and respect...You learn to listen to her.
As a child I was left to my own demise at the shores of the ocean. My connection to the Caribbean sea and the Atlantic ocean is based out of respect... admiration... devotion all feelings and emotions you have towards a mother.



All I wish for the earth is to heal fast... That we can all come together and help in anyway we can...



After all we are all branches on the same tree...



Everyone have a sweet weekend...