*unedited stream of consciousness...
It is not a comeback I have been here for years. There is rebirth and hibernation and I partake in the process. There are nights when my whole body is on fire and my fingers want to burn through these pages like a girl smokes a cigarette on prom night. For this is where I ran when I felt all alone. Me... in my truest form I run to what I know. Searching for connections like that one light bulb on the xmas lights strand we keep tightening with the hope of brilliance.
The cycles of life can be so chaotic and at times I just laugh and those around wonder why...
But it is life that have taught me to laugh as hard as I can even when those moments seem inopportune... even when it seems rude.
Because I know nothing lasts forever, because I know everything is so fleeting and life can be aggressive when it takes things you love from you. I laugh because even what seems promised it never is. At times what I fear the most is what I already know.
I came home one afternoon to find a neighbor's garden filled with flowers. Cantaloupe color buds and flowers that for some reason filled me with sorrow and inspiration.
Maybe it was the weatherman's fault for broadcasting over the airwaves right as I pulled up that there would be rain. I pictured the buds and flowers wilting after they've waited all year for this one moment of splendor. Enduring all the elements for this one week in Spring and the show would last one day. It is such notion that filled me sorrow.
I called upon the muses to show their face and help me paint with light this cantaloupe and tangerine dream I had... Thanks Amy.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin