There is no way around it, the heat in Savannah for the past few days is unbearable. Going outside and letting the kids go out to play is like mission impossible. So I have found myself with an incredible need for purging, cleaning and reorganizing my closets and drawers and once again I can't help but to think that the impending birthday has something to do with it. Cleaning I found a bracelet that was given to me on my 30th birthday from a friend that I no longer keep track of in spite of Facebook and other social utilities. From the moment she gave it to me I fell in love with it...
So I polished the tarnished bracelet and put it on while I kept cleaning. I also found a manila envelope given to me in April of this year. I opened the envelope that was filled with photos and mementos from my Miami trip as well as some old letters that were returned to me by a childhood friend. I had sent these letters to her when I was roaming the earth as a child. These letters were postmarked from different places and decades ranging from 1988 to 1992 this is when we lost contact my friend and I until 2 years ago. I met her in the 7h grade coincidentally the same age Ms.M is today. As I count the freckles on my girl's face and make out the constellations out of each of them I go back in time.
In those letters I saw a young, confused and immature punk rock music loving girl and it daunt on me how far I've come. Not many of us can count on childhood friends that hold on to our memories. Not many of us can count on friends that are like historians and like magic they later appear in our lives to give us clues, keys and pieces to complete the puzzle. Not many of us can count on friends to keep us honest and like roots grounded to our past and future.
40 each day is sounding more comfortable... kind of like when we break in a pair of brand new shoes. I have been preparing myself because not only my face is changing but also the way I look at things. I have changed in so many ways not even my painted walls and their colors make much sense to me the way they use to. I am the most comfortable I have ever been. My body, mind and life for the very first time feels like it makes sense. I am finding who I am and how I want it and being able to verbalize it is not enough. I am now a maker and creatrix of those things which make me feel free and beautiful.
The best part of it all its having good friends and a lovely family to share the growth and evolution. The best part of it all is that I've chosen this medium to write and document allowing me to taste and relive life twice.
Thanks to those that voted for the top 25 we came in at a cool number 6.
Enjoy the rest of the week peeps!